Imported from tzeusy-org/butlers (roster/relationship/.agents/skills/relationship-maintenance/SKILL.md). Install upstream with npx skills add tzeusy-org/butlers --skill relationship-maintenance. Copyright stays with the author.

Relationship Maintenance

Scheduled weekly on Monday at 9am. Identify overdue contacts ranked by Dunbar tier-weighted urgency and suggest the top 3 reconnections for the week.

Purpose

Prevent relationships from going stale through proactive, tier-aware reconnection suggestions delivered at the start of each week. Inner-circle contacts (tier 5, 15) are surfaced with higher urgency — their shorter cadences reflect their importance.

Tool Sequence

Step 1: Get Overdue Contacts

contacts_overdue()

This returns contacts enriched with dunbar_tier, dunbar_score, effective_cadence, and days_since_last_interaction. Effective cadence is stay_in_touch_days if set, otherwise the tier default (tier 5=14d, 15=21d, 50=45d, 150=120d, 500=270d).

Tier 1500 contacts with no stay_in_touch_days are excluded automatically.

Step 2: Compute Urgency for Each Overdue Contact

For each overdue contact:

urgency = (days_since_last_interaction / effective_cadence) * tier_weight + context_bonus

Tier weights: 5→5.0, 15→3.0, 50→2.0, 150→1.0, 500→0.5

Context bonus (gather these for each contact):

# Check upcoming dates
upcoming_dates(days_ahead=14)  # filter for this contact

# Check pending gifts
gift_list(contact_id="<contact_id>")  # +1.0 if any not yet 'given'

# Check recent notes for positive emotion
note_list(contact_id="<contact_id>", limit=1)  # +0.5 if positive emotion tag

Bonus values:

• +2.0 if contact has an upcoming date within 14 days
• +1.0 if contact has a pending gift (status not 'given')
• +0.5 if most recent note has positive emotional context

For contacts with days_since_last_interaction = None (never interacted), use effective_cadence * 10 as the numerator to treat them as maximally urgent.

Step 3: Rank and Select Top 3

Sort by urgency descending. Take the top 3.

If fewer than 3 contacts are overdue, take all of them.

Step 4: Gather Rich Context for Each

For each of the top 3 contacts:

# Last interaction
interaction_list(contact_id="<contact_id>", limit=1)

# Key facts
fact_list(contact_id="<contact_id>")

# Notes
note_list(contact_id="<contact_id>", limit=3)

Step 5: Compose Suggestions

Template — upcoming date:

Reach out to [Name] — [birthday/anniversary] in [X days].
Last talked [date] about [summary]. Consider: [personal hook].

Template — follow-up:

Check in with [Name] (tier [X] — [N] days overdue).
[Hook from memory/notes].

Template — general:

Reconnect with [Name] — [N] days since last contact.
[Context sentence].

Step 6: Deliver via notify

notify(
    channel="telegram",
    message="<weekly outreach suggestions>",
    intent="send"
)

Message Format

Weekly relationship check-in:

1. Alice Chen (tier 5 — 28 days, cadence 14d, urgency 7.2)
   Birthday in 3 days. Last talked 4 weeks ago about her new job.
   → Send a birthday message early. Mention her new job.

2. Bob Martinez (tier 15 — 45 days, cadence 21d, urgency 3.1)
   Pending gift idea. He was working on a marathon.
   → Plan to give the gift and ask how the marathon went.

3. Carol Lee (tier 50 — 60 days, cadence 45d, urgency 1.8)
   You mentioned wanting to catch up over dinner.
   → Simple check-in, suggest dinner.

Want me to schedule follow-ups for any of these?

Edge Cases

• No overdue contacts: Send "All your key relationships are up to date — no overdue check-ins this week."
• Fewer than 3 overdue: Suggest only those that qualify
• Contact has a pending calendar event: Note it in the suggestion rather than creating a duplicate
• Opted-out contacts: Respect any "do not suggest" labels or facts on a contact
• Dunbar tiers calibrating (new user, few interactions): Note in suggestions that tier assignments will become more accurate as more interactions are logged

Integration Notes

• This skill is triggered by the relationship-maintenance schedule entry in butler.toml (cron: 0 9 * * 1)
• Works alongside the reconnect-planner skill, which handles on-demand staleness checks
• After the user selects contacts to reach out to, use calendar_create_event to schedule follow-ups
• Log completed outreach with interaction_log when the user confirms they made contact
• Use dunbar_tier_set(contact_id, tier) when the computed tier doesn't match reality